How much does it take to break a Swordsman?
by LilytheVillian
Summary: What happened to Zoro during those two years when he was at Mihawk's castle? Of crouse he trained and became stronger than ever, but how does he handle being alone from all his friends? What happened in his mind? An AU where I take the wheel and decide what happens during those two years. Rated teen for cursing.
1. Chapter 1

The wounds in his chest ached. His whole body ached. The scent of his own blood was all he was able to smell anymore. He crashed down onto his bed. A few months ago the sting of this would have forced him to cry out. But now he was used to it.

And there was no way he was showing any weakness here. Not in front of Hawkeye Mihawk. He had to be a worthy contender for the title for the greatest swordsman alive. There was no way he could show any sign of weakness here.

Thunder and rain mixed with hail slammed onto the castle's ancient roof making a mighty sound. There had to be a storm at sea, which was only a mile or so away. He wanted to get up and look out the window or just fucking fall asleep.

But worse than the pain, worse than not being able to show any weakness, worse than Persona getting on his nerves giving him no time to be at peace was the ache in his heart.

"Luffy," He breathed squeezing his eyes shut. The faces of the crew flashed before him. Their smiles, their laughs. Their determination. How the hell was he going to do this for two years?! His thoughts swarmed forcing his heart to beat faster, keep his eyes open, and keep sleep away.

Were they alright? Luffy with his dead brother who he wasn't able to save. He would blame himself for it. Zoro knew it. And the others alone. There was also Robin how in the world would she manage? Would she resort to her old ways? Not trusting anyone? He'd stopped breathing.

He couldn't breathe.

She's smart she'll be fine! You know where she'll be in two years. Will she be the same Robin? Will two years alone change her? Has she found people she can trust? WHere did she land?

He wasn't breathing. He wasn't trying.

Usopp he's always been the weakest. What if he isn't able to handle being on his own? The Grandline is so dangerous.

His heart was beating so fast. His eyes were glassy. He wasn't breathing.

I should have been there for Luffy. For my captain. What the hell am I good for?! If I can't help my captain! Fucking useless here I'm stuck doing damned nothing letting everyone fight alo-

His glossed over eye's shut. The lack of oxygen had shut him down. In sleeping his breathing become automatic. Out of his control. He was limp finally his muscles relaxed since the moment he'd woken up. He slept dreamlessly. His mind didn't have enough strength to haunt him with nightmares.

...

Author's note (LONG BUT PLEASE READ)

Hello, all I would like to talk abit about this story. Firstly the first couple of chapters won't make sense sometimes because I wrote this when I was very tired during one of my first weeks of college. And I don't have enough heart to change it that much.

My first semester of college...no let me back up. Where I lived wasn't a good place. I grew up in a bad place. Going to a college two hours away from my parents was me escaping from the situation. And I was determined to free my mind from the disorders that plagued me.

To be free from my suicail thoughts, my depression, my eating disorder, all of my self-hate, and the horbile shrill voice of anxiety. And most of all to live.

I put up a poster of Robin screaming I want to live on my wall so I would see it every day.

I wrote this story late at night while having a panic attack.

This is my AU where Zoro develops a server anxiety disorder. The way that he heals will mimic how I am. But while I may not be faithful to all the events that happen, I will be faithful to character as I can.

I hope that by writing this and getting this down and sharing it-my anxiety will go away.

While I will do this either way-your support would a mean...a lot.

Please enjoy this story :)

Sorry parts of my writing are weird.

(BTW I'm incredibly dyslexic so let me know if my spellchecker fails me and I'll fix any errors)


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Kippy thank you for the review! I will fix the spelling error you found and thank you for pointing it out! Also thanks for your encouragement I definitely will keep going on this story! :)**

 **...**

…..Morning….

They were too bad. His injuries for him to be able to fight today. There was an ill feeling in the pit of his stomach. Like when Buggy almost decapitated Luffy.

One thing was for certain, he thought as he quickly ate the breakfast ignoring Persona, he couldn't stay in the castle even if he couldn't fight. He had to get out. If he didn't do something, then he'd think. And thinking lately only did one thing.

The storm clouds were still in the air. It was damp and the stones crunch under his feet. The smile walk seemed longer than usual. Going to the shore was his only option. It was the only path that the monkeys didn't walk. He and Persona had lined the path with stones so he wouldn't get lost. Her idea, her directions, his stone moving.

The sea looked dark and cold on the beach and the feeling was getting worse. Much worse. He walked out further onto the beach and his view of it increased. Planks of wood, broken crates and the dead fish reached him.

A shipwreck. A big one.

He walked through the wreckage and found no bodies. But quite a few of small fish had washed ashore.

Suish

He looked down expecting that he'd stepped on a fish. His stomach plummeted. It wasn't a fish, but a book. He could see Robin's hands with a hundred thousand different books in them.

"Don't be fucking stupid, marimo," He said to himself micing Sanji. But still, he carefully checked the wreckage.

An odd feeling was taking hold of him. He was running now not looking around. The book was flashing in his mind. Robin's hands.

Sh e can't swim

She c an 't swim

S he c an't' sw im

He felt a flower. A wilting flower in his mind's eye. Swirled and roots tangled in shattered wooden planks still in the water. And he found her. Skin nearly blue. Not moving. Her clothes torn. Blood dripping.

Zoro stood there and didn't move.

She...

was here

wa s hurt

DEA D

And then

"ROBIN!" He screamed launching himself forward at first roughly grabbing her but then scolding himself adjusted the grip on her.

He was searching for any sign. Holding his breathe he put his face up to hers. On his lips, he could feel her breath. She was breathing. Slightly he thanked Chopper for forcing him and everyone else to learn basic first-aid. He took off his long dark blue coat and wrapped her up in it. And then started back to the castle.

She was alive. That was all he could think. All he could. His muscles and wounds protested but he didn't notice. He walked on.

…..

She was so cold. So he held her close. Trying desperately to give off his warmth to her. It seemed like the walk back was twice as long as there.

But he was almost there. Just had to find the door...and

"What are you doing dummy?" Asked the ghost of Persona. He scowled his eyes narrowing down into dangerous porcupines. Then she noticed what he was carrying. She mouth opened and shut forming into a perfect O shape.

"Oh," She breathed floating above the ground.

"You have to treat her," Zoro demanded. The look in his eyes made Perona not question him, "She is devil fruit user. I have no idea for long she was in the water for."

"Right." Perona nodded getting serious. "Bring her inside. I'll do my best." Zoro turned around and walked away.

"IDOIT!" Person yelled, "The door's that way!" She pointed her arms rigid. Face flushed he turned around and followed her ghost inside.

For some reason, he was thankful that Hawkeye wasn't there.

Perona did her best.

 **...**

 **Hope you enjoy this update! I'm going to try to update every two-three days!**

 **Also in the future I plan to have my chapter be about 1000 words so hopefully this will be the last short chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yip! Sorry for the delay! Christmas took up so much of my time lol!**

Dear Kippysaurus

Yep, this is indeed Robin! Luckily for Zoro, I'm not going to have him go too insane. And thanks for pointing out the errors again! And no problem for the shoutout I always enjoy responding to my reviewer's like this it makes writing all the more fun for me!

Dear G1ntsuk1

Thank you for encouraging me to take my time. Made me feel not as bad for not uploading!

Hope you both had a marvelous holiday!

And please enjoy!

...

Perona's POV

Three days. Three whole days and he hadn't moved. He had just sat there not sleeping in the room. The woman he'd brought was breathing better now and the color had returned to her, but she was still very much unconscious.

As Persona carefully eased brother down her throat she glanced over at the ever watching Zoro, "You could help you know." He shook his head, "Ugh," she grunted. Bringing a half dead person into the castle and then forcing her to do all the work.

And the only information that he told her was that the woman's name was Robin and she was a devil fruit user.

Perona sucked on the inside of her cheek as the last of the broth slipped down Robin's throat.

Why was he doing that?

Not moving, just staring.

She was partially thankful for his lack of activity because he finally was letting his injuries heal. His face was less tight now the only sign she had that he wasn't in as much pain as before.

She twirled around and faced him throwing on her best pouty face, "Wellllll?"

He sat there not a single flicker of anything crossing his face.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes, "I'm going back to work on my puppets, at least they're cute!" She stomped off. Her loud footsteps echoed loudly in the long and empty hallways.

...

Zoro's POV

For once he was glad to have Perona around. He was far too rough to be able to handle Robin in such a delicate state. But Perona she most definitely had the ability to be delicate and to help heal her. Him? All he could do was break.

And that was what he took pride in most of the time. In times like these a sour pit formed in his stomach where he wished he knew how to be delicate.

But he couldn't trust himself with Robin.

As he watched her sleep he flexed the muscle in his one arm back and forth.

His arm was better now. Zoro leaned back shifting a thought back and forth into his head. He had some weights in his room. It wouldn't take long to go and grab them, and then come back. After a few more minutes he decided to go and get them.

He got lost.

…

Hawkeye had been away for the last few days. He always left on his excursion for a few days and didn't return until later. Sometimes he'd be gone for weeks at other times just a few days. Perona and Zoro had grown used to his wayward habits. And during this small segment of time while Zoro was lost, was when Hawkeye Mihawk returned.

He pulled up to shore on his boat and walked ashore. His boots squishing in the wet ground.

….

A world of shadows slid back and forth through Robin's blinking eyes. Slowly the world came into focus. A dank and gloomy looking ceiling looked back at her. The pain and soreness hadn't hit her yet. SHe looked around the room taking in her surroundings. An old rickety nightstand, and two equally rickety chairs.

She sat up her hands on either side of her as she breathed.

How..how did I get here?

She closed her eyes and thought back. The memory of being tossed to and thou by the frozen waves unable to move-unable to breathe-simply at the ocean's mercy.

Robin shuddered. Her arms grasped at themselves.

Someone had to have pulled me from the shore and brought me here.

She rubbed her head trying to clear away the fuzziness that clogged up her mind. Robin put a hand up against the wall and pulled herself up. Her hand stayed there against the cold stones as her half stumbled out of the room.

It's cold

As she reached the doorway finally the soreness of her body hit her. Fingers grasped at the doorway and she panted. Indeed she had been very close to falling right onto the ground. With more of a struggle than before she lifted herself up and walked out into the hallway. Footsteps reached her ears and she straightened up. The footsteps stopped right behind her.

Slowly she turned and her breath stopped in her throat.

Piercing yellow eyes met hers.

The eyes of Hawkeye MiHawk.

The greatest swordsman alive.

His lips curled, "What are you doing in my house?"

 _Crap_

...

I'll try to get the next update out soonish, but I'm getting married in a week so that's praboly going to slow me down again lol!

And he's going to help me fix my spelling soo yay!


End file.
